Rewind
by Emey
Summary: Hatori being his emotionally challanged self. Sad things, song fic to Rewind by Pillar. WARNING self mutilation, implied HatorixAkito


Ello! Emey-chan is back! I actully wrote this a long time ago, but it was on my moms's computer so I haven't posted it till now! Be forwarned, Tori-san has...well...become a figure for my imagination.

I do not own any of it! Tori-san belongs to his creator and voice actor, and director...and the song belongs to Pillar.

_WARNING WARNING WARNING _self mutilation implied Tori X Akito

_**Rewind**_

_IT SEEMS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY,_

_WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT I HEARD YOU CALL MY NAME._

_SENSE THEN SO MUCH HAS CHANGED,_

_I'M STILL THE SAME MAN THAT I WAS BEFORE._

_KNOWING THAT I CAN BE WITHOUT ANYTHING,_

_SCARES ME AWAY FROM BEING ALONE._

_AND NOW THAT I KNOW WHATS GOING ON,_

_I CAN LOOK BACK AND SEE YOU;_

_AND I MADE YOU WAIT,_

_AS I TURNED AWAY._

It wasn't any physical attraction to Akito that kept Hatori going back to her. No, it was more the concept of the pain. If he could feel that pain, then he could feel like **_she_** must have felt when it ended. When he failed to protect **_her_** as he thought he would. The medical equipment, the constant patient that Akito was, things he had once loved doing. All these things he once loved, now, his prison of cold snow and frozen ice.

_IF I COULD REWIND, _

_WATCH ALL MY LIFE,_

_JUST PASS ME BY I CAN SEE YOU._

_IF I COULD REWIND I'D TAKE BACK THE LIES,_

_AND ALL OF THOSE TIMES I HURT YOU. _

Why? Because he was Hatori, he was afraid. And that fear only added to serve the emotions she must have felt slipping further and further into her own guilt, another thing he couldn't save her from. He was such a weak person, but he didn't realize how wrong he was. He could let her go to have another chance. He stayed living, despite the wish of death.

_I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL EVER KNOW,_

_EXACTLY HOW MUCH THAT I HURT YOU._

_KNOWING THAT HURTS ME EVERYDAY,_

_IF I COULD REWIND I WOULD TAKE IT AWAY. _

_AND NOT MAKE YOU WAIT,_

_AND I WONT WALK AWAY._

He was freezing, in his own cold. His own suffocating freeze; even the cold of the metal medical equipment Akito was using seemed hot, or maybe that was pain. Was that searing heat his blood? He dimly thought he'd have to fix that later. It was something warm, and he was supposed to be the winter, frozen in eternity. Another line of heat swelled forth severing his train of thought. His breath came out as a hiss, not quite of pain. No, he didn't feel pain, nor pleasure from this treatment. He felt nothing, he was cold, and that was all. He could feel a plentiful amount of the heated lines drawn with the… what was Akito using today? He opened his eyes to see exactly what it was, just a small hand held scalpel. Funny how something that small could make him feel this way, exactly the way he wanted to; the way his putrid soul deserved to feel or at least in his opinion.

_IF I COULD REWIND,_

_WATCH ALL MY LIFE,_

_JUST PASS ME BY I CAN SEE YOU._

_IF I COULD REWIND, _

_I'D TAKE BACK THE LIES,_

_AND ALL OF THOSE TIMES I HURT YOU. _

He arched into the next few sensations. Not because he felt them, but because it was Akito. In the beginning he would pretend it was **_her_**, but he made the mistake if using the name of his beloved once. He new better now and sometimes he would slip up deliberately. Akito's rage was definite when he used another's name rather then hers. He wondered silently, when would this all be over? He felt like he was going to crack soon. And there were times he did this on his own as well.

_I WANNA TAKE BACK ALL OF THOSE LIES,_

_I WANNA TAKE BACK ALL OF THOSE TIMES,_

_I WANNA SHOW YOU IN MY LIFE,_

_THAT I'M HERE FOR YOU_.

Akito finished off what she was doing apparently she'd had enough for this session. How often did she decide she wanted to 'play doctor' anymore? How many scars were there now? Did it even matter? He didn't bother cleaning anything up just sat in his chair and poured a drink. He stared into the glass for a few minutes, and then grabbed the picture of **_her_**. He set it on the edge of the desk and grabbed the tool Akito had used earlier, adding to the other lines of red blood. He'd cover them up tomorrow, and go back to his normal life for awhile then he'd feel another urge, and Akito would be there. Just along for the ride. He stared at the picture, he was frozen alright. Frozen in a past he regretted letting go of with all his ice lined heart.

_IF I COULD REWIND, _

_WATCH ALL MY LIFE,_

_JUST PASS ME BY I CAN SEE YOU._

_IF I COULD REWIND,_

_I'D TAKE BACK THE LIES,_

_AND ALL OF THOSE TIMES I HURT YOU._


End file.
